Defining Friendship
One gray and dismal afternoon back in December, I was stuck indoors with a sick child and fretting over when and how I was going to get everything done before Christmas. The everything seemed overwhelming that particular day and admittedly, I was indulging in my own little pity party. Feeling rather discouraged and exhausted, I unlocked my front door anticipating a barrage of bills and catalogs (don’t you love the holidays?) waiting for me in the mailbox when I came across an unmarked package sitting in my entryway. My three old year was squealing with delight at the prospect of an early Christmas gift magically appearing at our doorstep. So, together, we eagerly threw back the layers of red and green tissue and discovered a lovely card holder in the shape of a wreath. There was no note attached but immediately, I knew who it was from. A friend. A true friend. I had been at a cookie swap party a few nights earlier and had mentioned in casual conversation that I’d love to be able to figure out a charming way to display all of our holiday cards. I was so touched that not only did she remember what I had said but that she took the time out of her hectic schedule to think of me and personally deliver this gift to my front door. This modest act of kindness and generosity brought tears to my eyes. She didn’t know that this small but meaningful gesture instantly turned my day around.
As a mother, I observe my children, in all their different stages, as they navigate through the complex world of friendships. I always remind them of the golden rule: treat others the way you wish to be treated. This seems simple in theory but to actually execute this is entirely different. As humans, no one is perfect. We are all flawed. So, instinctively, we tend to be selfish beings. It takes thought and effort to put others first. To me, that is what defines friendship. A real friend is someone who truly wishes you well. It is someone who wants the very best for you. This doesn’t always mean telling that person what they want to hear but instead, having the courage to tell the truth for their own benefit. It is someone who is a good influence, who inspires you to be a better person. A friend is someone who shares common interests and values. A friend is someone you can confide in and trust. A friend is someone you can laugh with and someone who will be of great comfort. A friend is someone who listens and doesn’t hesitate to say, “I love you.” In order to find this kind of friendship and to maintain it, you have to be this kind of friend. Friendship is reciprocal. It is a relationship that is far from perfect and will take many twists and turns as we go through life. But, real friendships last when they are valued and nourished.
Lately, I have been reflecting on the many friendships I have experienced through the years. Sadly, some friendships have dwindled due to geographical distance or a lack of common interests and beliefs and tragically, I lost a dear friend who unexpectedly passed away. It has taught me as I grow older (and hopefully, a little wiser) to appreciate and cherish the strong bonds I do have with certain people in my life. But, also to remember to continue to adhere to my own advice and be the friend to others that I wish to have.
Linda Manns Linneman
Jun 05, 2016 @ 12:55:48
That is truly a great friend. It sounds like you needed that little surprise. Teaching our children how to be a good friend is an every day job. They eventually catch on. Thank you for sharing and God Bless
Jodi
May 26, 2014 @ 06:35:51
Great post and I love the first photo of the boys in their towels
http://www.highheelsandtutus.com
nancy @ adore to adorn
May 22, 2014 @ 20:33:00
Oh friendships. It’s the “family” we get to choose. I was never the girl in school who was most popular and have always counted “real friends” on one hand. Funny enough, as I got older, those friends were not even friends either. As we grow older, and go through changes, we realize who truly cares for us. Not everyone’s relationships develop in the same way and while I am sad at those friendships that I don’t have anymore, I cherish the ones I do have even more. It’s so satisfying to know you can count on those who really are there through thick and thin of life.
xo,
nancy
kate dunphy
May 23, 2014 @ 16:15:50
Well said Nancy! I couldn’t agree more!! Thanks for reading 🙂
Pamela
May 22, 2014 @ 15:50:00
Great post!! I couldn’t agree more! Your boys are so lucky to have you guiding them through life!
<3, Pamela
sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com
kate dunphy
May 23, 2014 @ 16:16:36
Aw thank you Pamela!! You’re too sweet!
Shannon Jenkins
May 22, 2014 @ 14:32:00
Aw I love this!! True friends are everything and your boys are so lucky to have a mom like you! Mommys are the best and truest friends! 🙂
<3 Shannon
Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com
kate dunphy
May 23, 2014 @ 16:18:04
Thank you Shannon! I love my mom to pieces and your’e so right about that. As I’ve gotten older, she is definitely my best friend!
Maggie
May 22, 2014 @ 14:08:00
I love this post. I couldn’t agree more with you about the definition of friendship. I feel the same way and I wish there were more people like you 🙂 Your boys are lucky that they have you to teach them how to be a good friend and what to expect from true friends.
Maggie
http://www.PolishedClosets.com
kate dunphy
May 23, 2014 @ 16:21:05
Thank you Maggie! I’m a big believer in the mantra “you get what you give” so I do have faith that as long as you’re a good person, you will attract people who are genuine, kind and true. Thank you for your lovely comments!
Brittani and Katie - Pleasantl
May 22, 2014 @ 14:03:00
Aww thanks for sharing, that is seriously a true friend. Keep them around!
Xo
Brittani and Katie
http://www.pleasantlypetite.com
kate dunphy
May 23, 2014 @ 16:22:04
Thanks for reading! Yes, she’s a great friend and a definite keeper!